The Know-it-All Goes to School

One of the coolest parts of opening Selah Space has been getting to try new things. I have now worked with, or been worked on by almost all of the practitioners here at Selah Space and boy have I learned a few things.

If you’ve been following along for a while, you know that I’m kind of a know-it-all. I have a hard time letting people teach me things, I don’t love trying new things unless I know I will be good at them. Just ask my brother and husband about my aversion to learning new board games.

I’ve had to get over that a little bit in opening Selah Space because if we are going to be a co-operative in nature, that means I have to be able to refer my clients to these practitioners. And If I’m going to refer them, I’ve got to have some idea of what I’m getting them in to so I can explain it and so they can trust my recommendation.

Over the course of about two months, I’ve done Theda Healing, Body Talk, Lucia Light Therapy, Yoga, Sound Therapy from someone other than myself, aaaaannnnndddd….I think that’s it.

And the thing about this world I’m working in is it sort of hinges on vulnerability and honesty and peering in to each other’s souls. So these same people that are trusting me as the leader of the co-op, the vagaro question answerer, the check writer, the holder of space for them to build their practice; are also watching me spill my guts to them about all of my feelings and traumas and history.

I have cried in front of, healed, and been cracked open by these people. I have let them in. I have put down my compulsive need to have it all together, to be the picture of hospitality, the business woman mask and trusted them with my secrets and my truths.

It’s been hard. Because there is nothing to be good at. I can’t succeed at anything they throw at me. There is only healing and self care and wholeness. All of these things are only attainable through breaking down, shedding layers of untruth, crying, saying things you’d prefer no one ever hear. I’ve had to rest my Perfectionism and achiever wings, move into my soul space of Individual and get really honest about who I am to people I’d really prefer didn’t see me that way.

But oh my goodness…it has been the most valuable, redemptive, delicious experience. No one at Selah Space lets me get away with anything. My yoga instructor just shut down all of my desires to sprint into 2021 with my hair on fire and and an over-achiever to-do list. My Theda Healer gave me homework. The therapist down the hall sends me a knowing look and an encouraging word because she really does get it. Jen has been holding my feet down with realistic expectations of myself and my business. My reiki practitioner never let’s me get away with “I’m good.”

I’ve had a great deal of jobs for 25 years old. There are many places and roles where we are required to be on. And that’s all well and good. I am just learning that I am not supposed to have it all together here. A big piece of me (we’ll call her Ego), wanted to be all healed up when I opened Selah Space. After all, healing others would surely be easier if I was all whole and what not. Instead, God filled this space with incredibly brilliant, gentle, kind healers who invited me to crack open and sort through all the gooey, messy sweetness inside of me. That’s made me a better healer. My clients have been sharing deeper with me. My soul has received it all so much easier. And we are becoming more and more whole and healed together.

This is a place where not even I, the owner, the healer, the host, has to pretend to be anything. This is the place where even those, like me, who prefer to live in a little world where they know the most, can come and learn. This is the place where we are all committed to one another’s wholeness and healing. And if that creates a craving in your spirit, we should get together because dear one, you deserve this space.