Spiritual Formation
In my line of work, we spend a lot of time sorting through our Spiritual Formation.
I took a class on “spiritual formation,” in college or seminary, not sure which any more (man, I sound old…). It was all about the ways different denominations brought people up. Catholics had their special reserved communion available to those participated in confession, Lutherans had a lot of liturgy and slightly less special communion, Baptists had their strong feelings about believer’s baptism. And these things shaped our idea of God, Christ, the Church and ourselves. The prayers we said or repeated, the songs we sang in worship, whether your pastor was a fire and brimstone guy or a grace, grace, grace guy; all of it created your spiritual formation.
Until about a year ago, it really didn’t occur to me that one’s spiritual formation was made up of so much more than that. It also included the way your parents talked about the service on the way home after church, the way your mom’s gossipy friends ended sentences with “bless her heart,” how those around you grieved. These things also influenced your spiritual formation. The big debate about homosexuality you had in English class with a strong line dividing the catholic and Lutheran students (a town with a population of 408 in rural SD means those are your only to options). The boy who told you God told him you were supposed to be together. Your youth pastor praying incredibly healing and loving words over you on a mission trip. A loved one telling you that something was going to get you a one-way ticket to hell. Waking up to your grandparents doing Bible Study over breakfast every morning. Playing board games with a parent who said “you won’t go to hell for cheating, but you’ll go to hell for lying about cheating.” Never-ending conversations about your V-Card and abstinence and how you should pray every day for your future husband…Now I’m ranting.
The point here, is that everything shapes who you are spiritually. Even, and this was new to me, the things that aren’t religious. And logically, this makes sense. After all, we are spiritual beings and so everything we experience is experienced spiritually. It’s the culmination of everything that has happened in and around and to us that effects the way we respond to words like ‘worship,’ ‘scripture,’ ‘reiki,’ ‘yoga,’ ‘cacao ceremony,’ ‘prayer,’ ‘meditation,’ ‘spirits.’
It’s my belief that none of the words above are negative. None of those words hurt God’s feelings. None of those words have to have power over you. But some of them do, because of our spiritual formation. And that’s okay.
What if, instead of recoiling at the thought of the spiritual practices that aren’t comfortable or are even triggering for us, we simply noticed how it made us feel? And then, what if we sat in that feeling and sorted through our past, our spiritual formation to understand why? Then we could bring light into that space and let it begin to heal.
I think, if we practiced this gentleness with ourselves and with others, we wouldn’t feel so divided. We wouldn’t feel so defensive. We wouldn’t be so easily offended or afraid. Because truly, we are spiritual being who fear spirituality (stay tuned for next week’s post on spirituality V religion). This isn’t how it is supposed to be. It isn’t how it has to be. But like most things, the only way to improve this, heal this, grow in this, is to sit in it.
So what about spirituality triggers you? What makes you squirm? Where did that reaction come from? What was your spiritual formation? I’d love to talk more with you about it.
Be gentle with yourself,
Jada