Counseling or Spiritual Direction: How to Know Which is Right for You?
I’ve heard this crushing statement from several clients now:
“I’m so glad I’ve found you! I tried some many different counselors and didn’t connect with any of them like I do with you!”
That sounds great right? Finally found the right match. The problem is, Spiritual Direction isn’t counseling. The problem is, some people need clinical counseling and some people need spiritual direction. I would personally argue that there is a time in everyone’s life where they need one, the other, or both. But the two are not interchangeable.
So, how do you know which one is right for you?
It’s a tricky question. Partly because, If I took a picture or even a short video of the two, they look remarkably similar. You and a person you pay sitting across from one another on comfortable furniture, you talking about your life experiences a feelings while the professional listens, many emotions. They look a lot alike and often sound alike as well.
Several clients and family members have asked me, what is the difference between spiritual direction and therapy?
My best answer is this:
In therapy, you are going to fix something. This maybe learning coping mechanisms, this may be treating depression, anxiety, OCD, or another diagnosis. This may be learning to confront your feelings about your past and move forward in a healthier way. This may be mending fences and setting up boundaries in your relationships. This maybe fixing a broken or wounded marriage. You are working on healing from your past in order to be healthier in your present/future. The point is, you are working hard to fix something that is holding you back. It’s about change and growth.
In Spiritual Direction, you are going to create space for the becoming. It’s about making way for God to work in you. It’s about allowing yourself to accept what is and what is not. It’s about getting comfortable with and accepting the things of this life and delighting in that. It’s about growing closer to God and the person you truly are. You are working on, not the past or the future but in being able to settle into the present. It’s about creation and acceptance and stillness.
Of course, there is going to be overlap between the two. Often in spiritual direction, we do a lot of fixing when it comes to the small obstacles that keep us from the becoming. Often in therapy you work toward acceptance of the things you cannot change. The difference is the intention.